1. India and unhelpful beliefs

If you live in the Sub-continent, India, you would probably believe that Dalits, untouchables, have no soul, no mind, or no God. You may think they are not human, that they pollute what they touch, and that they have to live out their lives in a fixed spot in society because of sins in a prior life. You understand these beliefs relegate them to the lowest place in Indian society. You and they may believe they are destined to live in huts made of cattle dung, cook over fires fueled by cattle dung, and collect cattle dung, piling it outside their homes, close to the open sewers in town. These beliefs are not particularly helpful to Dalits. At the least, they keep the Dalits poor and lacking hope. They are sabotaged by their thoughts, the things they say to themselves.

2. Not just India

Things we say to ourselves may sabotage us as well. Things we believe matter. They affect our behavior, our feelings, our perceptions, and our reactions. We, too, are sometimes sabotaged by our beliefs.

• Because of our early life experiences, we all develop core beliefs: the default settings in our internal computer that are fundamental to the way we see ourselves, other people, the world, and the future. They are the lenses through which we see the world.  For instance, the man whose mother had to go into the hospital when he was 4 years old, resulting in his spending a few days with the neighbors, may think that he is going to be abandoned by the significant others in his life and become very reserved in his relationships, not depending on others for emotional support or care. He may decide that he is not worthy of support and become hypercritical of himself, never thinking he is good enough for others to stay with him. To compensate for his lack of trust in others, he may become overly independent, having trouble asking for help when he is overwhelmed by life. His core beliefs may set him up for failure.
• All of us have core beliefs, some positive and some negative. The negative ones are the ones that limit our lives, relationships, and mental health. Core beliefs can be divided into three broad categories: Helplessness, Lovability, and Worthlessness.
• Helplessness includes: (1) I am inadequate, and must have somebody take care of me, and (2) I am a failure, a loser, and may as well not even try.
• Unlovabilities include: (1) I will be abandoned, always be alone, and (2) I am not good enough to be loved by others, I can’t expect to have a good relationship.
• Worthlessness includes: (1) I am worthless and bad, so I deserve whatever bad happens to me. (2) I deserve to be punished.

3. Dealing with our unhelpful beliefs: A Cognitive-Behavioral approach (CBT)

Unhelpful beliefs are generally present when we are feeling bad, sad, mad, and/or worried. Based on Cognitive Behavioral techniques, a helpful process for dealing with feelings that interfere with our ability is the ABCDE method:

• Identify the Activating event (A) – What were you doing when the feelings started?
• Examine the beliefs (B) about these events, separating them into helpful and unhelpful thoughts.
• Note the consequences (C) of those thoughts, both emotions and behaviors.
• Dispute (D) the unhelpful thoughts by checking the evidence for and against the beliefs.
• Write new, effective (E) set of beliefs and test them out.

Examples

A – The man who fears abandonment presented above identified presenting at conferences as anxiety-triggering (A), almost to the point of panic.

B – He examined his beliefs (B) and found himself saying, “I can’t do this. They are going to hate my stuff, and nobody will ever ask me to do anything again. They won’t even talk to me again.”

C – He found that the consequences of his thought process (C) were physical symptoms such as a queasy stomach, shallow breathing, and a desire to run from the conference. He drank excessively the night before his presentation, slept through his alarm, and felt even more stressed because he missed breakfast with a colleague. He began to think that the colloquia would not want to meet with him again and started planning not to attend the rest of the conference. 

D – To counter the unhelpful thoughts (D), he disputed them by recognizing his thinking was unhelpful, stepping back from his thoughts by writing them down, and reminding himself of prior speeches he had given that were well received. He answered the question “What percentage of the presentations I’ve given before ended in rejection?” He asked himself, what is the worst that can happen? And then “So what? He was not 4 years old anymore. He visualized himself delivering this speech well while staying relaxed.

E – He planned to call his colleague and apologize for missing breakfast. He gave his presentation and received good reviews (E).

Is counseling effective?

If his self-help program proved ineffective, our man planned to consult a counselor. He knew that research has shown that Cognitive Behavioral approaches are effective treatment of mental health issues, including major depression, anxiety disorders, PTSD, OCD, and eating disorders.

Invitation

Want to know more about mental health issues? There are at least three ways to provide us with your thoughts:

• You may drop us a note at our church email: BeautifulMinds@covenantcares.org
• Give us topics you would like us to write about in the newsletter (see the form in the Narthex).
• Talk with one of our team members: Kathy Simmons, Jayden Copperthite, Denise Haley, or Michael McMains.

By Beautiful Minds Coalition: A Mental Health Ministry